her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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