i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
