fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize