i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
