I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
