I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
