Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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