i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
