You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
