I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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