Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
