Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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