i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
