I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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