Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
