The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
