All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
