hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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