So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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