i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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