So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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