I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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