about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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