I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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