We're facebook friends in real life
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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