after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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