I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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