didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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