If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
