this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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