We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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