Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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