just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
honey bunches of taint.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
