I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
