lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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