why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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