the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
