I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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