How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
