I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come see our sink grown plant.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
