i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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