Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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