Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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