Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
