The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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