Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
