so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There r osticjed everywhere
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
