hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
