I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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