Pants 0. Shit 1.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
