Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
