Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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