It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize