...so i touched it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
