i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
