So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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