To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
