well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
