I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Slut skills are useful in every country.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
