I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
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