my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
