I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
