the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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