everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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